


Operation: Clean Jerk

by tannne



Category: Spy (2015)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5499788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tannne/pseuds/tannne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan and Fine have to go undercover to save Frods ass, who has managed to insult an italian mobster and therefore has been abducted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation: Clean Jerk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stratisphyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stratisphyre/gifts).



> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. None of these character belong to me, but boy, do I wish they did.

 

Susan loved her job with the CIA. She loved it even more since she had been officially raised to field agent status (or as official as thing got with spy agencies anyway) and did get sent on regular field missions. Every successful mission boosted her confidence in her abilities and made the other field agents take her more serious. Even Fine seemed to see her in a different light, as more of an individual and an equal. Which was a nice change for once. But the point was, Susan knew the risks of her job. And serving her country made those risks worth it. However, serving her country didn’t mean coming to the rescue of klutzy agents who weren’t able to make holidays abroad without getting kidnapped by the Italian mob because they didn’t have any social awareness of their surroundings!

Sighing, Susan read slightly disbelieving once again through the file Elaine had given her not 30 minutes earlier. It appeared, that after realizing he was cruising on a lake, Ford had managed to get the boat on a river that led actually into the ocean and started a small tour, somehow ending up in Naples, Italy with only minimal hiccups along the way. Which was when things started to really go south. Apparently, Ford had taken part in a cards game – to each their own – when his bad understanding of social situations had struck once again. Ford had realized the card game was marked and the guy in this posh tuxedo, who was clearly the big cheese in this small round of gamblers, was the one doing the cheating. Instead of wondering why he was being treated so deferential and what that could mean in the context of them being in Italy, Ford had blurted out that this guy, Bertuccio, was cheating. In a huff, Ford had thrown his cards on the table, pocketed his money and made to leave. He even made it as far as the next alley mouth before he was relocated by some close friends of Bertuccio, who had taken those, however true, insinuations and disrespectful behavior in front of his associates none too kindly. Well, he also probably wouldn’t have condoned such behavior if it had only been the two of them, but that was neither here nor there. Ford was lucky that an undercover agent from another agency was there on a mission and recognized Ford, but wasn’t able to warn him without compromising his own mission. Instead he listened to the grapevine and knew within hours that a mouthy American tourist was being taught a lesson in one of Bertuccio’s boxing academies. The agent managed to inform his handler before he was forced to follow his mark out of Naples. Which was how the CIA got the information that one of their agents was currently a hostage of an Italian mafia boss. Elaine was tasked to organize a rescue mission and so Susan with Fine as backup were chosen to save Fords ass.

Elaine came up with the strangest cover identities, mused Susan before she concentrated on memorizing her new life. She was supposed to be a professional weightlifting coach from Naples by the name of Sasha Baciare. Because of her success in getting athletes back on track after accidents, Gordon White – Fine’s alias – had hired her to help him build back some of his muscle mass before he wanted to try and fight again in boxing champion chips. But because Sasha didn’t travel, White had to leave home and fly from America to Naples. At least their background stories would give them a reason to become members to the boxing academy in which Ford was being held captive. Looking at her ‘ _weapon_ ’ for this mission, Susan couldn’t help shaking her head. From anti-poison stool softener to flame-throwing lipsticks back to poisonous protein powder. Who came up with stuff like that?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fine was fidgeting nervously in his seat besides Susan. “You’re not afraid of flying, are you, Fine?” She looked at him worriedly. Maybe Susan had packed something against nausea or a relaxant of some kind after all? She started going through her handbag, although she doubted to find anything useful, when Fine’s hand stilled her rummaging.

”Very considerate, Coop, thank you. However, it is not the thought of flying that affects my calm. I’m simply worried about Fords wellbeing.” Fine managed to settle down in his seat but his fingers still twitched as if agitated when he let out a heartfelt sigh.

“Ford has been through worse. I’m sure he’ll be fine when we get him. I’d even wager he’ll exclaim he would have been able to do it on his own and that we cramped his style.”

“Yes, that is exactly what he would tell us. I also know that while Ford has a heart of gold, he hasn’t yet learned when it is more prudent to be silent than to blab everything that comes to mind.”

“Huh, that is a strangely accurate description of his character, Fine. But you forgot to mention the part where Ford is like a cat: he always lands on his feet. I wasn’t aware you knew him this well.” Doing nothing to curb her curiosity prompted Fine to elaborate just like Susan had hoped.

“Ford and I have had some missions together.” Fine shrugged. “I always admired his dedication and tenacity. Add to that his wicked sense of humor and you’ll have trouble to keep your composure.” A small nostalgic smile was hushing across Fine’s face before he turned away to look out of the window, obviously lost in thought, as their plane started to roll the tarmac. This was very strange. In all her time as his techie, Susan hadn’t seen Fine behave this attached when talking about someone. This new development needed closer observation, otherwise Nancy wouldn’t believe her one word.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well, fuck me sideway, but poisonous protein powder actually proved useful! What a pleasant surprise for once. Susan still looked somewhat incredulous at the moaning and writhing mess in Bertuccio’s box academy. Fine and Susan had discussed at length how to disable an unaccounted number of men in a short period of time without alerting them to what was going on and giving them time to kill their hostage or organize resistance. Finally they had decided strolling in and acting inconspicuous was their best bet. Therefore Nancy had produced fake paperwork declaring Fine a new member of ‘Gino’s accademia’. Armed with a huge punch of poisonous protein shake, they had made their way into the box academy. Susan was still astonished that she had managed to sell their bowl of poison as a ‘we’re new in this academy, let’s all be friends’ bribe-gift-thingy. Considering how every man in the complex had thrown themselves towards the punch as soon as they had heard the word protein they shouldn’t have worried. Protein shakes were apparently a huge thing in Italy, at the moment. Probably only steroids would have caused a similar reaction. While the men had splurged themselves on their protein poison, she had coached Fine on weightlifting. Remembering how her gym teacher, a Vietnam War veteran, used to shout insults at them, she had decided to imitate him. “You anorexic pussy, get down there and give me fifty push-ups as a warm up, or you’ll never be the man your mother was,” was one of his favorite insults and it worked just like a charm on Fine. After looking at her for one shocked second, he dropped to ground to do her bidding. Luckily, just then the poison in the protein shake seemed to kick in and the men around them dropped to ground like flies.  
Glancing around the room to make sure every Italian mobster was busy vomiting and scratching at the floor in immense pain, Fine and Susan worked their way slowly to the backroom and down to the cellar where they suspected Ford. As it turned out, they needn’t have worried. Ford seemingly didn’t inspire much concern or fear in his Italian captors, because they didn’t encounter any guards on their way to his holding place and he wasn’t deemed a security risk either since they found him bound to a chair in the laundry room. What seemed to have been considered an annoyance was Ford’s opinion, going by the – yuck – dirty sock used as an impromptu gag. Besides his taste buds, he appeared to be unharmed. Well, Ford had managed to topple his chair over and did have bump on the side of his head, but otherwise he was fine. Which Ford proved by insisting he would have been able to free himself at any moment – while they cut his ropes – he was just waiting for the right opportunity to blindside his guards. 

“Seriously, mate. I nearly had them where I wanted them all along. There wasn’t any reason for you to get involved, Bradley.”  
Fine shared an amused glance with Susan, before he looked back at Ford.

“So sorry to spoil your grand scheme, Rick. How about I invite the two of you to a celebratory dinner instead? We didn’t manage to have one after our last case with Rayna, did we?” Feeling slightly guilty for ditching Fine for Nancy, Susan quickly agreed. Her guilty conscience didn’t stop her from noticing that Fine and Ford were apparently on first name basis and that Fine was visibly more relaxed after knowing Ford hadn’t sustained any serious injury. Well, there was time to get to the bottom of this later. She had a whole dinner to suss out what was going on between them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Upon Ford’s insistence they ended up ordering pizza in Fine’s hotel room and pillaged the minibar for any beer they could find.  
“Why do you always keep bumping into my investigations?” Ford gave Susan a miffed look. “You do that, you know? You just pop up out of nowhere and everything goes south.” Now he was staring down into his beer as if it could enlighten him about Susan’s mad ninja skills. Across from her, on the other sofa, Susan saw Fine shake his head exasperatedly and look at the ceiling, before he nudged Ford good-naturedly between his ribs. 

“Cut the crap, Rick. You know very well that Susan is a fine field agent, so stop your whining and giving her grief about it.” Fine’s voice was surprisingly gentle in his chiding. Maybe that was the reason Ford only huffed before he rumbled a more elaborate answer.

“Fine, Bradley. Have it your way. Ruin all my fun, why don’t you. Of course she’s a fucking great field agent. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to fool Rayna for as long as she did.” Noticing that all the beer was gone, Ford stood up. “I’m going to buy more beer. Be back in ten.”

Susan leveled Fine with a worried gaze. “You sure it’s wise to let him go alone? He might end up kidnapped again. Or simply in the wrong hotel, for that matter.”

“Ford will be perfectly fine, Coop.” The corners of Fine’s mouth twitched upward as if what might happen during Ford’s brief beer run would only end up as one of many anecdotes concerning Fords antics which Fine had in his repertoire. Well, she hadn’t seen that one coming. But it certainly explained why Fine had never seemed seriously invested in any of his many dates, if they were dates after all.

“Okay, look Fine, I know it’s none of my business. But watching you for the last couple of hours has made it pretty obvious to everyone not blind that you’ve got the hots for Ford. And while you might think he’s uninterested because he hasn’t shown any outward interest, I feel the need to point out one rather elementary thing: Ford isn’t top-notch in the interrelation compartment. He won’t get subtlety. If you want Ford to know you’re interested in him, you’ve got to hit him on the head with it, for him to notice. And I believe he’d be receptive to any advances you might make. In case you haven’t noticed, he actually listens to what you have to say and values your opinion. You’re able to talk him down and have a grounding effect on him, which might keep him out of trouble for once. While he loosens you up and you appear more approachable around him. So, I’m going to pick up my purse and retire to my room. You will have the rest of the evening with Ford before we fly back home tomorrow and I expect you to go for it. I’ll be very disappointed in you, if I find out tomorrow that you didn’t. You deserve happiness, Fine.” 

Shaking his head slightly, while Susan gathered up her belongings, Fine finally slumped back against the sofa and gave Susan an indulgent smile. “Your impossible, Coop, you know that, right? I’m not sure whether saying you’re right will only further indulge you or not. But nonetheless, you’re right. Thank you, Coop, you are awesome, don’t doubt it for a second.” 

“You’re welcome, Fine.” Susan winked at him before she closed his hotel room door behind her. Outside in the hallway, Susan picked up her phone and looked at the number, hesitating for a brief moment, before dialing. 

“My plans for the evening cleared up unexpectedly, so this is your one shot you get to impress me. I’ll text you the name of the hotel I’m at and my room number. See you in forty, Daniel.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Susan was just finishing up giving Daniel a very nice goodbye kiss in front of her room’s door, when she heard the one on the other side open. Once she was done she noticed that both, Ford and Fine had stepped out of Fine’s room. Stifling a satisfied grin or even more inappropriate a passionate whoop, Susan chose instead to stroke a hand down Daniel’s back, while he turned to the two men, gave them a polite nod, followed by a “Gentlemen”, before turning back to Susan. “Don’t waste that much time before calling again, please. I will not be able to wait that long without seeing you, Darling.” Daniel gave her another admiring look before he made his way down to the elevators.

Fine gaped at his retreating back before his gaze swiveled to Susan, still looking flummoxed. Naturally, Ford was the one who found his voice first.

“Holy shit! Was that Daniel Craig? Did you seriously bag James Bond? Good for you, Cooper.”

Susan shrugged unfazed. “Yeah, he was shooting a movie in Canada and I came across him while I was working operation _'wilted maple leaf'_ the one with the Canadian minister president. Some barmy fan was threatening Daniel with a shotgun in a deserted street, so I stepped in. When he asked for my number, I didn’t think anything of it. But he keeps calling me. Guess he’s still a bit star struck. Oh well, best get back inside. Still have some packing to do. Smell you later, pals." Susan turned to open her door and had made it nearly all the way inside before she couldn't help herself shouting one last parting shot. "By the way, lovely hickey, Fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know you would have prefered Susan/Fine but after the lake scene at the end of the movie, I simply didn't believe she was still into him. And the way he was looking at her didn't seem to me as anything more than friendly, which had me wondering why he wouldn't be into an awesome woman like Susan. My solution was that Fine was already interested into an awesome guy. But he still realizes how much he underestimated Susan. And because Susan deserves only the best, I decided to give her an actor who plays the spy par exellence and adores the ground she walks on.  
> I hope this is still something you'll enjoy. Merry Christmas!


End file.
